Tired

It's raining heavily again. It's like my energy's being sapped away.

Amazing what the weather can make you feel.

Dreamy and lazy. Sigh I'm not prepared for the papers next week. At all. I know how shit I'm going to screw it up.... but it's raining and thundering now. The best time to snuggle in your sheets and just.... Sleep.

Ahhhh I'm yawning. My bed looks so welcoming. What is this. I know I'm going to screw up my combi humans and here I am thinking about sleeping. Sigh, being lazy is my forte.

I actually looked at the number of marks allocated for drawing the modulus graph before deciding to draw it. (2marks, had to draw. not 1 :@@@) A-math paper 2 was really tough, I had to think real hard for some questions actually. I think it was the toughest amongst all the other papers in the FYS.

They always give our year the hardest papers. WhYYYYyYY. :@@@@@@@@@@ It's so pissing because everyone writes us off as stupid when the grades r horrible. We are so misunderstood people.

Second yawn typing this post, I'm going to flip some ss.



OOoh before I forget,


Class photo 0909 :)

Yes that's my bimbotic bestfriend with her "shades". And TeenVogue. I love Domo more though.

4Monsters forever baby :)

E-math paper 2 was raaaaather good :) But I made sucha stupidddd careless mistake. Fucking cost me 3 marks :'( Sigh. Nvm nvm nvm I shall think positive! :D

A-math tmr, I must not screw up must not will not :@@@@@!!!!!!!!!

god's grace

Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.


Jesus is always here for me. Just when everything's going crazy at home, he tells me everything's going to be okay. I trust that everything will be silent once again, quiet and peaceful. Even when I know I've screwed up my english paper so bad, it's okay. Cause he's going to save me, he's going to do something for me.

I pray e-math paper 2 will be good today.

t=1

e-math was ok today, but i fucked up english alr. hahahha daaaaaamn.

:'(

nvm nvm nvm, tmr's paper 2. I will sleep early tonight, 1130 at the max!

Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
Keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard

In all your silver rings
And all your silken things
That song you softly sing - is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down
It's a long way
Back here you never loved
You've shaked the shivers off
You take a drink to get your courage up
Can you believe it
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's over


Fuck I fucked up english :'(

I am extremely moody.

The slightest things will irritate me. Excessively.

So please please people, don't annoy me, I don't want to shout @ anyone when I really don't mean it. I don't want to fucking show an attitude which drives my mood into the pits of hell.

I have high expectations of myself and so does my dad, so please, just understand that I'm really stressed out now. I want to cry it out, but I can't, cause after cry I'll be tired and I definitely won't study.

Just let me be for now, irritated and catty.

I pray that everything will be alright. You are the most important woman in my life ever since mummy passed away. Nothing must ever happen to you.

I know I'm horrible. I'm always ignoring you when I'm angry, even shouting sometimes. But you've never held anything against me. You've always done everything for me. I really don't know what I'd do without you. Everything will become messed up, fucked up. My routine will be disrupted.

I love you, and I hope you know it too.

I feel so fuckin' stressed out...

Just a blink of an eye and its a week to O's.

I'm so scared I'm not going to perform well enough to meet expectations. Mine and others. Especially my dad's. I really want the 6 so damn badly...

But it feels so damn impossible.

My physics is suffering... I'm not confident that I'll definitely be able to get that A1 for chemistry cuz I have horrible phrasing when I do papers. I have no idea why :'( Now when I look @ a-math and emath which are my strongest subjects, I feel bored and I don't bother doing papers.... It used to be sucha breeze, I wonder what happened. I'm banking on Lit to be counted as my humans cuz I really can't place any belief in myself that I will get an A1 for history/ss.

I need a miracle to save me.

to my best soulsis ;)

(Nicole Hiorns)

P2 - I know you have already forgotten, but, this was the year I sat next to another person on my list, SHANICE LIMMMMMMM I will never forget ok. We were friends since like...... we were tiny little people below 1m. HAHAAHAHA. We were really soulsisters since young man. No one was allowed into our clique in sunday school. It was you, me and your gameboy. HAHAHAHAHA. Omg our pokemon days!!!!! HAHA. I think we were really horrible kids. HAHA. Who else would play pokemon during sunday school. Only Shanice Lim and Nicole Hiorns k. HAHAHAHHA. The teacher will be teaching about God and stuff and we will be playing Pokemon. Who beats us. HAHAHAHA. Well I'm really glad we're close again!!! We'll never drift again k! YES IT IS SET. I don't care. :)






Always soulsis, always together forever and ever. (L) I'll stick to you like superglue even when you want to get rid of me. Even when you hate me for being so annoying cuz I'm just being me, I WILL STICK TO YOU. I'm the sticker and you're my favvvvv sticker book. :)

PS: We need to go out after O's!! I will kidnap you from ur mom&dad!!

"Once an MG girl, always an MG girl"

I will miss every memory I had in MG. I'll remember Day 1 when I first stepped into MG. Wearing the white & blue sailor uniform, thinking I was sailormoon. (haha I really did)

And just as quickly as I made friends in MG, time passed. 10 years in fact. I've been wearing the same uniform. It's been my favourite, always. Even when the prefects book me. Short skirt/No badge/Low socks (thank god for the new ankle socks)/Hugee blouse....

It's my identity as an MG girl. And I love it.

I'm sad. All the memories I have in MG, mostly good and some bad. But when you piece it all together, it's just so beautiful.

The friends I have made and kept. And the friends that I have lost and distanced from.. they mean so much to me. When I look back at everything I've done, all the friends that have supported me all the way through my good & bad times. All these people have influenced me in one way or another, to become someone better/worse. But still ultimately, Me.

That day I was just talking Pei, and she told me this

"I'm going to miss MG so much shan. I love the feeling of going anywhere and just knowing everyone."

I thought about it yesterday @ the baccalaureate service and I started to cry.

It's the familiarity with everyone in MG that makes me want to stay. It's so comfortable in MG, I can do everything I want. Wherever I look, I see someone I know. I don't care if I'm acting stupid in MG. Cuz when I look around, it's people I know. People I'm comfortable with. Leaving MG is horrible cuz I feel as though I'm being pulled out from my comfort zone. Being placed somewhere unfamiliar and alone....

I know the world out there isn't the same as MG. I won't be able to fit in. I know it. I'm always doing something that'll piss someone off. But because I'm around people I love & know, they'd just brush it off. Everything's going to be different next year. Everyone's going on different roads/paths. I just don't want it to end.....

I just want everyone to stay together forever.

The 10 out of 16 years of my life, have been the best ever. I know that I'll always keep MG close to my heart. I'm sucha sucker at goodbyes. Leaving is always the hardest thing for me to do.

Now it's Day...... (364.25 x 10) since I've stepped into MG. And it's the day I'm stepping out of it. No longer as a MG girl. But now, an ex-MG girl.



4M'09
I love you.

SERENE LIM IS BACCCCCCCKKKK :):)

Went to pick her up @ the airport today. So happppy!! Finally my other half is back :D Miss lim u r so fucking skinny now!! I am going to fatten u up now!!! :D:D Nongshim tmr woOoHooOoOOO!!! :D:D:D

And and andddd my split cam arrived!! How fucking awesome can today get!! Hehehhe I love it love it loveee it :) Going to bring it to school tmr, hehehe ;)

It's going to be my Last Day in MG tmr...

Can't believe time passed so quickly. There have been times when I couldn't wait to get the hell out of MG. 10 years. T E N . More than half my life, I've spent within those walls. I'll miss so many people. Everyone's gna leave and move on different paths. I'll miss 4M.

Most of 4M...

Okay forget it. I have to be happy today. I need to be. I don't want to end up w puffy eyes in school tmr and look uglier than some. :P


Tmr's going to be a good good day. I want to end my ten years in MG on a really nice note ;)



PS: Some people just like looking like the victim. For sympathy, pity, attention. But really, if you hadn't wanted anyone to know about it, you shouldn't have it put out so suggestively on the web. It's stupid. And then you just go blaming someone else... Sigh. Pathetic lava face :'(

NINJA

Dedicated to my FAV SOULSIS.

HAHAHA SEXY.


That's me becuz I ate macs. I am going to ROLL down the hill wtf fml.








Getting oWnEd HAHAHA

















HAHA CAUGHT U


HardcOre muGGGer





(L)


I'lll misss theeeeseeeee.


Wuvvv :)




STudied w Nic(soulllllsisss) & RG in school today.

We laughed so hard eth could hear us from her classroom. HAHAHAHA WTF. It was so funny. I love studying with these two idiots. (L) WE PLAYED MONOPOLYYY. And RG was winning so Nic was v smart and hid her iTouch HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Too bad RG. :P

AND PLZ, NINJA. SEARCH NINJA ON URBANDICT. It's the BEST. Wtf. I love it like hell. Juz kill me naO. HAHAHA maybe a ninja hiding in my house will do the job.

Ninjas tears cure cancer, too bad they never cry

Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to gloat.

Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.

Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.

HAHAHA WTF RIGHT...............

My fav =
when it rains ninjas dont get wet, the rain gets ninja.


HAHAHA WTF???? THE RAIN GETS NINJA. HILARIOUS.

OK I WILL TRY 2 MUG NOW. I'M A PROCRASTINATORRRRR

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

HAHA I SAW THIS AND I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING.

What's your favorite move? Mine is Lick.

http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/pokemon.html

THIS WEBSITE IS A JOKE.

SOULSIS WAS REMINDED OF ME WHEN SHE READ THIS!! HAHAHA.

Oh man, I love her so much (L)

couldn't help myself

I FUCKING LOVE YOU SERENE LIM!!!!!!!!

Thanks for getting me the action sampler I wanted so badly, love you to bitXXXXXx.


Can't wait for you to be back from China. Miss you so muchh.... fucking wish you could work your magic and take me away from all the stress I'm under. U r more impt than my O's so I'm deFFFFF gg 2 the airport 2 pick u up. Obvvvvv w ur present :):) although it's really nothing compared 2 what ure giving me, i wUUv chu :)



oH and I couldn't resist... really.


YES THE SPLIT CAM!!! :)
I ordered it w dad's credit card and he scolded me for that. ShitaZz.




Fucking pretty. Love the split cam. (L)



//

On this day of your life, Shanice, we believe God wants you to know ... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

This speaks to me so much.... just let me tide through this tough time. I feel helpless and stupid.....


Time is slipping away
Days go by, fade away
With one eye opened, one closed
I think you know
Love will make you beautiful

Thoughts swirl, spinning around
Weary, falling down
When out of the darkness a hand
Reach out
Hold fast

Love will make you beautiful
Turn around this time
Love is there to find
Lift your head and see
Open up your eyes

nOstalgiaaaaaa

Old photos I dug out from the past.

I think film photos hold so much more meaning than the current digital photo craze. When you look @ them, it feels like you're being brought back into time. Sigh really missed those days when all you had to care about was when you were going to see your friends in school the next day. No exams no nothing.....

These make me wna get my film cameras so much more.



Thx Pei & Soulsis for offering 2 get me my Holga!!!! :) Luv you guys so muchhhhhh. Aft O'ssssss. Can't wait.



//

HAHA FORGOT ABOUT THIS HILARIOUS PHOTO I SAW IN THE TOILET IN SCHOOOL



Plz FISHING IN THE TOILET BOWL???

and wtf the last corner on the right HAHA, shit. Looks like SECKS.

qUadCam

I bought the qUadCam app on my iPhone last night & I'm having so SOooO Much fun w it!!!!! Now I want the real one. The one w FILM. I spent the whole day looking @ cameras online. Shit shit shitttttt.







































Check these out!!!!!!!



This is so pretty I love it so so much. It's only like 30+!!!! I wanttttttt it. It's the reAAAAL qUadCam babeHx.



Showed shee this awesome lil' baby online!!! I would have ordered it on the spottttttt, but it's freakin' OOS. uGH. It takes two photos and splits them into one film!!! How freakin' awesome is that??????! The colours r reaaaaaallly nice. I want this sosososo muchhhh.





YES THE HOLGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT THE MOSTTT OMGGG.

[Package Code: F1]
Holga 120 GCFN (Black) + 35mm Adapter + Fisheye Lens $139

or

[Package Code: G1]
Holga 120 GN (Black) + Multicolor Flash + 35mm Adapter $99

I want it. Shit shit shittt. I love the cross-processing. It's real neat.

http://khloee.livejournal.com/30917.html





Can someone get it for me!!!!! :'(

wHy

I hate the new mirrors that my dad put in my wardrobe. Everytime I change I see myself.

Stark naked.

With fATz flowing out from every corner. It's so so so disgusting. When I look @ myself I see a obese lump of shit. All those imperfections just stare right back at me. How am I going to live like this? I am everything everyone detests to be. Really.

Fat/Short/Ugly/Stupid

What the fuck.

//


I feel like I've wasted all these 16 years of my life. I've never made the right decision on anything. Be it my life, friends, studies etc, I just fuck everything up.

I'm disappointed that no one really bothers to do anything for me. I'm always just hanging there in the middle. Close enough to people that they'd tell me they love my company, that they'd tell me what's wrong with them. But never close enough for them to take the initiative to do something for me. When the occasion is special to me, I always end up alone hoping for someone to surprise me. And poof, it doesn't happen.

My dreams make me sad. I always dream that I'm continuously climbing. Hoping to reach the top. But always. Something stops me in my tracks. I'll slip and fall. I see hands that stretch out to me. I smile. I try to grab them. But they retract away from me. Slowly. Only then did I see that it's not the hands that were retracting. But the fact that in the first place, it was never stretched out fully to offer me the support I needed.

Why? Because I'm not deserving of anyone to even want to fully give me support. I'm never number 1, the most important. I'm always just somewhere behind. Never able to cross over the line.

I wish I was a loner. Then maybe I'd have the excuse that people don't know/hang out w me. That's why they don't notice me. But no, I just have to hang out with people. And now I don't have the excuse of deluding myself into believing I'm un-noticed. The blunt reality is just slammed in my face. I'm just being forgotten.

Face it Shanice, nothing's going to change.

It's been 16 years.









//


These things take time, love
These things take backbone
And they'll tell you what you want to hear
They say it gets better, better
But you better know how to point out the liars
You've got to win your wars, make sure
You're not fighting for nothing, nothing
Are you fighting for nothing, nothing


Feels like I already am.